Venus Laugh Break: Did You Know That Non-living Things Have a Gender?

Venus Chuckles:

The Rules

1. The female always makes the rules.

2. The rules are subject to change at anytime without prior notification.

3. No male can possibly know all the rules.

4. If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.

5. The female is never wrong.

6. If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.

7. If rule #6 applies, the male must apologize.

8. The female may change her mind at anytime.

9. The male must never change his mind without the expressed written consent of the female.

10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The female must, under no circumstance, let the male know whether or nt she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The male is expected to mind read at all times.

14. If the female has P.M.S., all the rules are null and void.

15. The female is ready when she is ready.

16. The male must be ready at all times.

Did You Know That Non-living Things Have a Gender?

For example:

1) Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

2) Copiers are Female, because, once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

4) A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5) Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

6) A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on.

7) A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

8) A Hammer is Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.

9) A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be Male, didn't you? But consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!