Oprah Opens Up: "Why I Never Married or Had Kids"

Oprah...is building schools for girls and helping AIDS-ravaged Africa. And you wonder why she's not married with kids.

by Michael Logan
TV Guide, October 4-10, 2003

There is a majestic marble staircase in the foyer of Opraf Winfrey's Harpo Studios, and at the top is an immense painting of the Boss Lad herself. But this is no glamorous homage. It is a portrait from Winfrey's 1998 film "beloved," in which she played the Civil War-era former slave Sethe, and it shows in the talk-show queen's back covered with huge hideous whip welts. The image has hung there for years, but it takes on even greater resonance given Winfrey's new focus-Africa...

Winfrey-whose empire is said to be worth $1 billion, making her the second richest entertainer in the world (after Steven Speilberg)-is in a building frenzy. She is nearing completion of her $50 million dream estate in Monecito, California, and she has broken ground on the first of 12 schools for disadvantaged girls in Africa. Another school is planned for the United States, most likely in rural Mississippi, where she was born and she is funding two more schools in Afghanistan.

Yet as the 49-year-old Winfrey sits on the floor near her desk, nuzzling her cocker spaniels Solomon and Sophie and talking to a reporter, she is astonishingly serene. She explains why. Last December she took gifts to tens of thousands of children in South Africa-most of them orphaned by AIDS-and had what she calls, "the single greatest moment of my life."

REPORTER: You talk on your show about "lightbulb" moments, even "O" moments. What made your African moment so different?

OPRAH: It was a destiny moment. A spiritual revelation. I went to Africa to create the best Christmas possible for kids who'd never had one, kids who didn't even understand the concept of a present. We took jeans and radios and black dolls for the girls and soccer balls for the boys. At one point, we were standing in this little community center before 183 orphans who, on the count of three, all opened their presents at once.

And the joy in that room was so thick you could physically feel it. I mean, it was palpable! And in that moment, it hit me. OK, now I see what all this has been for. (She gestures across the wide expanse of her new office). Now I see why I am not married. Now I see why I never had children. I am supposed to work with these children.

REPORTER: But why not have it all?

OPRAH: If I were a wife and mother, I wouldn't have been open to this experience. I wouldn't have had space in my life to embrace the world's children, because I'd be taking care of my own, which takes alot of energy. People always say, "Why don't you have kids? You've got the money, the space. Have a nursery, hire nannies." That's not how I want to have children...

REPORTER: You are content not to marry Stedman? Do you think your audience buys that?

OPRAH: I don't think it would be an issue if it weren't being played and replayed in the tabloids. "Oprah can't get a husband." "Oprah's friends worried about her." People look at me and think "She must be unhappy, something must be missing." But that's because they're looking at my life from their perspective. Stedman and I have a great relationship that allows me to be me in the fullest sense, with no expectations of wifedom and all that would mean.