The Perfect Ceremony for a Star Woman and her Comet Man: Barbara and Stephen’s Wedding Vows

Barbara and Stephen have not come here today to make a solemn promise or to exchange a sacred vow.

Barbara and Stephen have come here to make public their love for each other: to give notice to the truth; to declare their choice to live and partner and grow together–out loud and in your presence, out of their desire that we will all come to feel a very real and intimate part of their decision, and thus make it even more powerful.

They’ve also come here today in the further hope that their ritual of bonding will help bring us all closer together. If you are here today with a spouse or a partner, let this ceremony be a reminder–a rededication of your own loving bond.

Stephen would like to start the ceremony by reading a poem that he wrote to Barbara after the night they first met:

(Stephen reads poem.)

We’ll begin by asking the question: Why get married? Stephen and Barbara have answered this question for themselves, and they’ve told me their answer. Now I want to ask them one more time, so they can be sure of their answer, certain of their understanding, and firm in their commitment to the truth they share.

(Minister gets two red roses from table…)

Now Barbara and Stephen, you have told me it is your firm understanding that you are not entering into this marriage for reasons of security…
…that the only real security is not in owning or possessing, nor in being owned or possessed…
…not in demanding or expecting, and not even in hoping, that what you think you need in life will be supplied by the other…
…but rather, in knowing that everything you need in life…
…all the love, all the wisdom, all the insight, all the power, all the knowledge, all the understanding, all the nurturing, all the compassion, and all the strength…
resides within you…
…and that you are not each marrying the other in hopes of getting these things, but in hopes of giving these gifts, that the other might have them in even greater abundance.

Is that your firm understanding today?

(They say, “It is.”)

And Stephen and Barbara, you have told me it is your firm understanding you are not entering into this marriage as a means of in any way limiting, controlling, hindering, or restricting each other from any true expression and honest celebration of that which is the highest and best within you–including your love of God, your love of life, your love of people, your love of creativity, your love of work, or any aspect of your being which genuinely represents you, and brings you joy. Is that still your firm understanding today?

(They say, “It is.”)

Finally, Barbara and Stephen, you have said to me that you do not see marriage as producing obligations, but rather as providing opportunities…
…opportunities for growth, for full Self-expression, for lifting your lives to their highest potential, for healing every false thought or small idea you ever had about yourself, and for ultimate reunion with God through the communion of your two souls…
…that this is truly a Holy Communion… a journey through life with one you love as an equal partner, sharing equally both the authority and the responsibilities inherent in any partnership, bearing equally what burdens there be, basking equally in the glories.
Is that the vision you wish to enter into now?

(They say, “It is.”)

I now give you these red roses, symbolizing your individual understands of these Earthly things; that you both know and agree how life will be with you in bodily form, and within the physical structure called marriage. Give these roses now to each other as a symbol of your sharing if these agreements and understandings with love.

(Minister gets two white roses from best man and maid of honor…)

Now please each of you take this white rose. It is a symbol of your larger understandings, of your spiritual nature and your spiritual truth. It stands for the purity of your Real and Highest Self, and of the purity of God’s love, which shines upon you now, and always.

(She gives Barbara the rose with Stephen’s ring on the stem, and Stephen the rose with Barbara’s ring on it.)

What symbols do you bring as a reminder of the promises given and received today?

(They each remove the rings from the stems, giving them to the minister, who holds them in her hand as she says…)

A circle is the symbol of the Sun, and the Earth, and the universe. It is a symbol of holiness, and of perfection and peace. It is also the symbol of the eternality of spiritual truth, love, and life…that which has no beginning and no end. And in this moment, Stephen and Barbara choose for it to also be a symbol of unity but not of possession, of joining, but not of restricting; of encirclement, but not of entrapment. For love cannot be possessed, nor can it be restricted. And the soul can never be entrapped.

Now Stephen and Barbara, please take these rings you wish to give, one to the other.

Stephen, please repeat after me.

I, Stephen…ask you, Barbara…to be my partner, my lover, my friend, and my wife…I announce and declare my intention to give you my deepest friendship and love…not only when your moments are high…but when they are low…not only when you remember clearly Who You Are…but when you forget…not only when you are acting with love…but when you are not…I further announce…before God and those here present…that I will seek always to see the Light of Divinity within you…and seek always to share…the Light of Divinity within me…even, and especially in whatever moments of darkness my come.

It is my intention to be with you forever…in a Holy Partnership of the Soul…that we may do together God’s work…sharing all that is good within us….with all those whose lives we touch.

(The minister turns to Barbara.)

Barbara, do you choose to grant Stephen’s request that you be his wife?

(She answers: “I do.”)
Now Barbara, please repeat after me:

I, Barbara…. ask you, Stephen…(She makes the same vow)

Stephen, do you choose to grant Barbara’s request that you be her husband?

(He answers: “I do.”)

Please then, both of you, take hold of the rings you would give each other, and repeat after me: With this ring…I thee wed…I accept now the ring you place upon my hand…that all may see and know.

(The Minister closes…)
We recognize with full awareness that only a couple can administer the sacrament of marriage to each other, and only a couple can sanctify it. Neither my church, nor any power vested in me by the State, can grant me the authority to declare what only two hearts can declare, and what only two souls can make real.

And so now, in as much as you, Barbara, and you, Stephen, have announced the truths that are already written in your hearts, and have witnessed the same in the presence of these your friends, and the One Living Spirit–we observe joyfully that you have declared yourself to be…husband and wife.

You may now kiss your beloved.

Let us now join in prayer.

Spirit of Love and Life, out of this whole world, two souls have found each other. Their destinies shall now be woven into one design, and their perils and their joys shall not be known apart.
Barbara and Stephen, may your home be a place of happiness for all who enter it: a place where the old and the young are renewed in each other’s company, a place for growing and a place for sharing, a place for music and a place for laughter, a place for prayer and a place for love.

May those who are nearest to you be constantly enriched by the beauty and the bounty of your love for one another, may your work be a joy of your life that serves the world, and may your days be good and long upon the Earth.